A Little Bit of Perspective: Seeing the Whole Glass

 There are few things as easy as focusing on ‘what’s missing’ or ‘what went wrong’. What’s not so easy, what needs to be learnt and practiced, is to note ‘what was effectively done’ and ‘what went right.’

There exist neurological-evolutionary reasons why, as beings who for a long time where some other animal’s dinner, we’re predisposed to pay more attention to the possible dangers than to the present blessings.

That is why we need to train our ability to ‘also see the the half-full glass.’ This does not mean we ignore that half of the glass is effectively empty. What we’re trying to get is an image of the whole glass, with its two halves.

For example, I’m starting to run regularly. My plan is to do so at least 3 times a week and for at least 3 miles every time. I have a full plan that includes speed runs, endurance runs, tempo runs to build stamina… all the works.

Truth is I don’t always (or can’t always) stick to plan; and it would be so easy for me to be hard on myself for not doing so, and to focus only on how I fell short of my own high expectations.

But knowing how easy it is to see only the half-empty glass, I made an effort to see the half-full glass too. In that half I found the following: this week I went running 3 times (2 of those at 6.30am), I ran 3 miles each time, once I added speed work. The last run was with my sister, and actually we walked for half the distance, and ran the other half, but I enjoyed spending the time together and being able to chat.

True it is that I didn’t stick to plan as written, and perhaps that will put me back a few days to reaching my final objective (that’s my half-empty glass). However, I did so enjoy filling the other half! And that’s gotta be worth something too!

So, what glass are you trying to fill up today? You surely know how far you’re from a full glass. Don’t abandon your goal. But if you find that from staring at the half-empty glass you start to become depressed, I invite you to look at the half-full glass too and celebrate every drop that added its effort to getting you to where you are now.

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On Showing Up

Hi. I’m here.

I wasn’t sure about being here today. I was bored and un-inspired. What could I possibly offer you of value today?

But Life is about showing-up, even (and perhaps especially) when it’s not all fireworks.

Some things you build one little step at a time. Sometimes it’s the same step over and over again.

Changing habits works like that. It’s not something instantaneous. It’s something you build up by “saying no” to the old and “saying yes” to the new, over and over and over again.

And it all starts with showing up for the work. Even if we don’t apparently succeed. Even if habit seems to win most of the times.

You still show up, because by showing up, habit has not won by default. By showing up, you’ve exercised your power to choose.

If you show up, anything can happen. Anything includes your habit. But it also includes every other possibility, which gain strength with every time you show up.

So, if you are thinking of giving up, if you are too bored, tired, or depressed to care anymore… show up anyway. Just BE there, OPEN to anything that might come.

That’s why I’m here today. No expectations. Just here… for me… and for you…

Victoria

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The #1 Key to Falling Back In Love with Physical Exercise & 5 Ways to Keep the Romance Going

Image by WikiImages

Change your perspective and your expectations.

Take a minute to consider what your relationship to exercise is founded on.

Why are you in this relationship to begin with? Your weight? Long-term health benefits? Beacause you have to exercise (everyone else is doing it)? Does the doctor (or your mother) say you should? Scrap that.

As with all relationships, the clue to real love (getting to the point where you “miss” it when you are not together), is enjoying spending time together. You need to learn to enjoy movement for movement’s sake, for the pure joy of feeling your body moving.

Stop thinking about what it could do for you long term: What does it do for you now?

Do you feel happy after moving your body? Limber & looser? Freer? More powerful? Does it clear your mind and your worries for a while? Is the world a better place after spending some time with your moving body?

If all you focus on is the long-term benefits, and you can’t see what it is already doing for you today, you will take all the joy out of your relationship. Start living your relationship in the present. Go back to why you like to move, not what it can give you long term.

Stop thinking so much about what It should be giving You: What can You give It?

As with all relationships the best you can give your partner is your full attention. Learn to read your moving-body’s nuances of tone, its changes in inflexion. Delight in the sheer pleasure of your body pounding, shaking, jumping the stress and tension out of your mind, body and soul. You can both then bask in the post-workout glow.

5 ways to apply this advice right away

1. List the reasons why you DO love to move. Refer to it often.

It’s good to remind yourself what it’s REALLY all about, for those times when going gets rough.

2. List the forms of movement that you DO love to engage in.

When going gets rough, there has to be a foundation of love to fall back on. Do not expect to love your workout routine tomorrow if you never loved it to begin with (or worse, if you hate it). Find yourself an activity you really enjoy doing and stick to that for now.

3. Start learning some basic body mapping. Apply it during your workouts.

You can try being aware of your feet, or your armpits, or your neck, during movement. The point is to start really connecting to your moving body, to learn to be present in the moment and in the movement. All true joy springs from this fountain.

4. Start researching possible places where you can go on workout dates.

Decide if you want to have some alone time on your date (perhaps a leisurely walk or run along the beach or a country trail… you can take the dog too), or you’d rather party with friends (a dance class, a pilates class, a yoga class, a functional fitness class, a tennis match… so many options, you can pick your party-style).

5. If your relationship is in real tatters, get some professional help.

A good teacher or coach can make all the difference if you find yourself hating your time together with your body during your workouts. What you need is to learn each other’s language. Only then will you each be able to communicate more clearly your needs and delights. An Alexander Technique teacher can help you get back in touch with what your body is feeling, with how to communicate clear directions to it, and how to grow together towards your true potential.

Let me know how it goes in the comments.

See you next week.

Victoria

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If you’d like to know more about how to get your relationship with your moving body back in shape, check out what my work is about or contact me.

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